[ The expression that ghosts across his features is doubt. He doubts that it's not on him, just like he doubts his ability to actually protect Sam when he most needs it. Not like his track record has ever been awesome, and that started a long ass time ago. Sometimes he still remembers the way dad looked at him, spoke to him, after Sam almost got his freaking life force sucked out by that shtriga. Like he'll ever forget how small, how useless he felt after dad was done with him.
He'd resolved to do better, but he never had. This is just another example of that. And he can resolve to do better all he wants, but he knows deep down that this won't be the last time he fails Sam.
Eyes flicking up to the phone as the automated voice confirms the message has been deleted, something loosens in his gut all the same. Relief, maybe. Relief that Sam had believed him, even when they both know he still said those things in that motel room. That he'll take responsibility for, but not some messed up message that wasn't even him.
If only it was that easy to delete that moment too, in the motel. ]
Thanks. For believing that wasn't me, even though I've said some shitty things to you in the past.
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He'd resolved to do better, but he never had. This is just another example of that. And he can resolve to do better all he wants, but he knows deep down that this won't be the last time he fails Sam.
Eyes flicking up to the phone as the automated voice confirms the message has been deleted, something loosens in his gut all the same. Relief, maybe. Relief that Sam had believed him, even when they both know he still said those things in that motel room. That he'll take responsibility for, but not some messed up message that wasn't even him.
If only it was that easy to delete that moment too, in the motel. ]
Thanks. For believing that wasn't me, even though I've said some shitty things to you in the past.