Sam Winchester / Lucifer (Endverse) | SPN | Deerington Application

[endoftheverse]

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Sam Winchester (... ft.ing Lucifer)
Canon: Supernatural
Canon Point: The End, 5x04 (AU), the end of the episode.

In-Game Tattoo Placement: Decorative antlers around his anti-possession tattoo.
Current Health/Status: Possessed but managing, suffering from the after-effects of demon blood addiction.
Age: About 31, technically.
Species: Human (with a bit o' archangel inside)

Content Warnings: Suicidal Ideation and suicide attempt mentions, lack of self worth (mental health issues in general), addiction (of the blood-drinking variety), possession, manipulation and coercion, dubious consent of body, death, the general unpleasant topics of being possessed by a not-so-great guy. 

History: 5x04's wiki, but also a general summary of Season 5, since this will reference that season quite a bit with regards to Endverse!Sam's state of mind and his current personality. His life from Season 1 to Season 4 is also exactly the same as OU Sam, and can be found at any ol' SPN wiki.

The episodes Free to Be You and Me is especially important in how I'll be writing Lucifer and Sam's terrible relationship with regards to their weird cohabitation. For the most part, Sam's linear path from 2009 to ~2012 is a bit of a fuzzy space, but we know that Sam spent much of this time completely cut off from people he knew, laying low after Dean had told him they should remain apart; much like the quiet torment seen in 5x03, Lucifer will spend quite a bit of time in Sam's nightmares, mimicking loved ones and trying to convince him to give in, while hunters occasionally target him between hopping bar and other misc. jobs. At one point, Sam eludes to killing himself to keep Lucifer from ever getting to manipulate him, to which Lucifer comments he'll just bring him back. I imagine he made good on his word, only to be sorely disappointed when Lucifer was proven right in that regard.

Generally, life was shitty in this timespan.

We also know that between 2009 and 2012, Sam Winchester had said 'yes' to the devil, and let him in to use his body as a vessel (aka he was desperate and attempted to duke it out, and absolutely crashed and burned, which is par the course). Sam's concept of time is going to be skewed terribly as he is in Deerington; he won't quite know what happened when, and this general canon timeline will be left vague, as Sam has spent a good majority of it in a dark mental prison while Lucifer commanded his body. When he regains most of the control of his body in Deerington, he will be spending a good deal of time having to stand on his own two feet again, having spent years not needing to command his own body. He'll also still be quietly craving demon blood at the start, as he had already been forcing himself to ingest heavy amounts of demon blood to withstand Lucifer's grace in his body, both before and after he had been fully possessed.

Personality: Sam Winchester is a lot of things, pre-endverse.

He's a little boring sometimes, a little dorky. He's a bit hopeless with his crushes on people. He Ackchyuallys sometimes, when he's got a big brain and wants to prove it. He's the responsible mom-friend, the one who'd probably be the guy driving his drunk friends through a Taco Bell before sending them to bed with glasses of water, but he can be pushed to stupid fights over the remote or long-winded arguments about what candy is the best theater candy.

He's got that kind of energy, when things are good.

Of the two brothers, one would find it easy to see that he's the more 'agreeable' one, more likely to lean on belief and a bit more optimism than perhaps his brother would. He had been a man of faith, someone who had always attempted to find something more for himself beyond what terrible childhood he'd had, going hotel to hotel and suffering a severe lack of emotional and mental support, even with his brother always close at hand. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and he employed the typical Winchester foolhardiness, spliced with a more open sensitivity that was both mocked and appreciated throughout the series. He's incredibly smart — street smart, as Winchesters had to be, sure, but also book-smart, so much so that he was often the go-to for lore gathering in his family. Despite his transient lifestyle, he had managed to get into a prestigious college — and also managed to get himself there and build a life for himself with just a duffel and a bus ticket.

Sam: You used to read to me, um, when I was little, I— I mean, really little, from that— from that old, uh... Classics Illustrated comic book. You remember that?
Dean: No.
Sam: Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember... thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think... maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had... demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn't pure?
(Episode 8.21)

He had his issues, though. You just can't be a Winchester and not have a suitcase full of them.

A bit judgemental at times, perhaps a little hotheaded at a time where it's really not a good idea; he's no stranger to butting heads with those he loves, either, and he'll push back against something he disapproves of with some real tenacity. There had always been an anger inside him, to make matters worse, that coincided with an ugly darkness within that he knew wasn't natural. Even in later seasons of the show, he admitted that, even as a small boy, he felt like there was something horribly wrong with him. Insecurities about his worthiness and sense of not belonging in his family were just he tip of the iceberg; he did not feel clean, and that there was always something ready to bubble up if he gave it the time and chance. It's weird to write that and then immediately move towards the fact that he was a kind, compassionate, and extremely emotional individual in life... but that's just how it can be, you know? Like that overused old quote from tumblr? "The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest.'' Yeah, that one. Sam's a lot like that. Felt a lot of bad feelings through his life, especially inwardly, toward himself... but he was — despite his mistakes, despite everything — a generally good guy. And despite the gnawing, horrible darkness that left him wondering what was wrong with him, he still tried to be a good and helpful person. Sometimes even obsessively over time, if we're honest.

Fate just made it really hard to be anything more than a pawn in a really big, really unfair game.

And so he became a demon blood addict, ruined his relationship with his brother, and then accidentally began an apocalypse. He'd thought maybe he could circumvent that horrible fate and be someone better than what was planned for him, to the point where his actions were sometimes a blur to him, enacted with a recklessness that only seemed to spiral after Dean's demise in season 4. Seeing everything crumble apart in 2009 only left whatever faith he had to also fall apart, too, and by The End (5x04), he had nothing left to hold onto. 2014 was a wasteland, emotionally — and literally. People were dead, the world was in ruins, and Sam could only sit in the dark confines of his own mind while Lucifer destroyed everything he'd hoped to protect.

So the Sam we'll get to see now, freed from that pit he was stuck in, is a Sam that has crumbled down from that anxious kid or that hot-headed college boy... or even the determined guy who wanted more than anything to rescue his brother from damnation. He emerges from his prison directionless and paranoid, too concerned with keeping the devil at bay to stand too close to others. He's guilt-infested, he's got suicidal tendencies from wanting to tear down Lucifer with him, and he's lost whatever shred of self-worth and self-care he has. This is a man who had gone into a spiritual boxing match in one last-ditch effort to stop his destiny and prevent the end of everything — and instead he'd caused it. And then after, he had been stripped of his agency, his dignity, and just about anything else he'd worked hard to build up in his younger college years (perhaps deservedly, he'd argue). In episodes in Season 5 that span beyond The End's AU, Sam displays those very same feelings of unworthiness, going as far as to say he's the least of anyone in their group of people. Now multiply that times a hundred.

It makes Sam, unfortunately, even more self-sacrificing than he'd been in previous seasons of the show. Suicidal, to not beat around the bush. He had always been too willing to through himself bodily at danger — with intention that he may very well not return. It only worsens with time over the show, of course, to the point where he's throwing himself in Hell, offering himself up to die to his supernaturally-influenced brother, and so on. Tragically for this Sam, it will be a very big issue with him, one that will need some adjusting; he will believe full-heartedly that he must be killed as soon as possible, and will likely seek out avenues to do it until someone shakes a promise out of him to just... not. (That said, if it's spoken about in-depth at all it will have a cw warning, and any actual graphic attempts or in-depth talking about this issue will be carefully plotted out beforehand.)

Basically, this Sam is more withdrawn, guilt-ridden, and without closure. Avoiding people seems like the right choice. Receding and not wanting to deal with the repercussions of his actions? Sign him up. He'll be in a room by himself, staring at the walls. Isolating himself will prevent connections, because those connections will be in immediate danger, as far as he's concerned.

The exploration of a traumatized man who would rather die or hide away from a society that he fears harming is a depressing one, but there may be hope for something better here. Something much more than being locked up in the dark, anyway, with the only end being whenever Lucifer gets tired of walking around in his body. There's... time to work through some stuff that could really use a therapist. Nobody in Supernatural, OU or AU, gets out alive in the mental health department, do they?

Now, before we move on, the elephant in the room.

... The devil in the room?

Sam: You need my consent.
Lucifer: Of course. I'm an angel.
Sam: I will kill myself before letting you in.
Lucifer: I'll just bring you back. [A soft sigh.] Sam. My heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders, what you've done, what you still have to do. It is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way...but there isn't. I will never lie to you. I will never trick you... but you will say yes to me.
(Episode 5.03)

A summary of Lucifer's personality is in order, since he'll make appearances from the deeper recesses of Sam's mind and the little door he's constantly shoved behind.

Lucifer is a parallel to Sam in terms of being the adoring younger brother, a black sheep, someone who loved his family but disagreed with their way of life, a rebel of sorts — but the reasoning could not be more different, and the personalities are night and day. Lucifer tends to only care about his own wants and needs at the end of everything, and will manipulate however he sees fit to get those things. One could argue he cares his family, and to an extent it's true, but he also has... a habit of killing said family if it works in his favor (while also blaming someone or something else for his actions, as if there is just no other way). There's no doubt a darkness within him that Sam had worried was in himself, but Lucifer embraces it. He embraces a dark personality, one that began with the hate for humanity and ended with a long, long time wringing his hands in Hell. He created demons by twisting up souls, tormented people with them, manipulated those on earth to be harmed and do harm. He's boastful, smug, and always sees himself as superior to any 'hairless ape' that God had so ridiculously asked him to bow to, regardless of what time or universe he's from in the series. There's no sense of care, no value given in any life.

He is the real monster in this messy mixture of man and archangel, even if he's a complicated one.

Lucifer will not hesitate to lie about not lying, and he will absolutely harm people he swears he will not harm. And while he's so powerful it's nearly impossible to face him in a fight, he prefers using words (very barbed words) to rip and tear at people he seeks to harm. He pulls down their walls and tries to find vulnerable areas to prod, cocky and assured in his own abilities. He thinks he's better than you, and you, and especially you. He employs a disarming sense of calmness and softness to someone he needs something from, like his first vessel, Nick. And when he doesn't get his way, that arrogant poise and casual way of addressing people can just as easily erode into the equivalent of an archangel temper tantrum.

Uh. Truth be told, his good qualities are lacking.

... The guy's a kidder, and his dry sense of humor isn't half bad? That's got to count for something.

Michael: What, you think I'm gonna rebel? Now? I'm not like you.
Lucifer: Please, Michael —
Michael: You know, you haven't changed a bit, little brother. Always blaming everybody but yourself. We were together. We were happy. But you betrayed me – all of us – and you made our father leave.
Lucifer: No one makes Dad do anything. He is doing this to us.
Michael: You're a monster, Lucifer. And I have to kill you.
Lucifer: If that's the way it's got to be... Then I'd like to see you try.
(Episode 5.22)

But if there's one thing about Lucifer that has shown an inkling of something more vulnerable, it's that he has a lot of issues with his father, to the point of tantrum or rampaging emotion. Oh, those pesky father-son abandonment issues. Despite how easily he harms his family and how seemingly quick he is to snap one of his lesser known brothers into a splatter in the grass, he does have some connection to them. A weird, twisted connection, but one all the same. And at the top of that totem poll is his sense of abandonment by his father, the big G himself; Lucifer was a favorite, if not thee favorite of God, one of the most beautiful, the most proud... and God's 'betrayal' of him had always been a sore spot that he couldn't make go away. He uses it as excuses, sure, but he does genuinely feel hurt by what he feels was a slight against him.

Now if only someone had explained to him that 'cool motive, still murder' is a concept to embrace.

He won't be so present in Deerington, and when he's managed to wrangle back control for any short period, he'll be sorely lacking in those overpowered abilities of his as an archangel. Instead, he'll have to attempt to use that art of his silver forked tongue to bring people down and really stab 'em in the back. And pout a hell of a lot, having to endure this role reversal of being trapped in a body.  Hopefully, someone figures out how to get rid of the motherfucker for good. Maybe next season on Deeringtonatural. Until then, he can enjoy subsiding in the same darkness he'd left Sam in.

... Tit for tat, and all of that.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping: Sam is a mostly normal dude, though he does have a limited set of powers he may be able to use if desperate. He was given demon blood at a young age, which allowed him to perform some small level of telekinesis, as well as see flashes of the future!

If he consumes demon blood at any point, he may also have the ability to forcefully expel a demon from their vessel and even kill them. Anything relating to this will be heavily plotted and with explicit IC permission, though I doubt it will come into play much! I will nerf it that he has a tremendous kick-back from it and is very quickly exhausted to the point of almost passing out.

Sam is also a hunter and is well-trained with just about any weapon, as well as extremely skilled with technology up to 2009. He has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of a lot of hunting lore and other... just totally random inane factoids. What? That's absolutely an ability.

Lucifer will be, for the most part, pushed down and kept locked up in Sam's body during a hefty chunk of Sam's time in Deerington, as best Sam can manage (and depending on in-game items that may be able to help him maintain it...!). Lucifer may pop into dreams to torment people, or perhaps emerge during mentally exhausting special plots/events where Sam doesn't have the mental capacity to keep him put away, but his power over Sam will wane more and more as Sam thrives outside of his isolation. In the circumstance that he's able to emerge and use any of his abilities, he'll find they're extremely nerfed, and he's pretty much as weak as any regular angel. What's more, he will have issues with malfunctioning powers that he does manage to keep, and will not be able to flee Sam's body, no matter how much he wants to.

(He will also be weak to all things that effect angels, including angel banishing sigils and holy oil. Unlike canon where even angel killing blades are useless, they sure won't be here. Equally, Sam will inadvertently be weak to these things, too, regardless of if Lucifer is in command or not; it's a pain.)

Here are the sole powers I've decided to let him keep and their nerfs; anything not listed can be assumed to not be available from canon unless an event gives him temporary increase in power with modly permission:

Telekenesis: The ability to move some objects, push cars, throw the weight of people, etc. This will be a very often short-circuiting ability, where he can just as easily only have the strength to fling a book. Sam may be able to replicate this ability from time to time (i.e. being a special child and his powers in S4/S5), but not to the same strength as Lucifer.

Astral Projection: ... Literally just him being able to reveal the shadow outline of his wings, if he wanted to be a flashy bastard. Nothing else.

Electromagnetic Interference: He can potentially set off car alarms in his presence, or maybe short-circuit radios...... Mostly just for aesthetic, let's be honest. Welcome to scare tactics 101.

Immortality/regeneration: In canon, an archangel cannot be killed by most methods, and their vessel's wounds often heal with a bit of time; in Deerington, I figure Sam can have the benefit of not being as killable as usual — being able to survive a stab wound or a gunshot or two that could kill an average human. Other than that, he can be killed in all manner of way, including a shot to the head, beheading, immolation, being crushed, severe blood loss, drowning, etc. etc. Let me know if this needs any further nerfing!

Super Stamina: Unlike before, Sam's body will still have to sleep, eat, etc., and wounds will be much more debilitating than if full archangel abilities were in play. He's a lot like endverse!Castiel in that regard, still managing to maintain only a sliver of this ability. Sam will be able to endure longer periods without sleeping or eating (for a day or two) without ill effects or pain, thanks to the archangel's influence on his physical form. He can still absolutely starve or get fuzzy/faint with lack of sleep.

Super strength: Can pack a hell of a literal punch against a regular human. Can maybe pick up a car or something if he's lucky... But totally not overhead. This isn't Superman. The guy can flip a car or pummel someone in the face if the strength's actually behaving, but there's really no muscle to this angel grace.

Flight: He can teleport (AKA fly) on the occasion he's out, but it will absolutely be hit or miss, and he may end up somewhere he really had no intention of being.

Dream-walking: The only power I'm not not totally nerfing, if only for the interesting threads that may come from it; this will be a 100% opt-in and will only be done with OOC permission for the other player. Essentially, Lucifer can walk into dreams and take the form of whoever he chooses there. Sometimes to manipulate without the other knowing, but for the most part, he'll just be lonely, being all... isolated. It's almost like he's getting a taste of his own medicine here. Huh. He will also have absolutely no ability in finding anyone's location, and this is all 100% just set dressing in someone's head.

Supernatural perception: Done with player permission, this is just the ability of Lucifer being able to tell another character is not human. This will only be possible if Lucifer is in control of the vessel in some event, and Sam will have no ability to tell this. Lucifer will also be able to mask his presence while locked away inside Sam, but this also is 100% open to failure.

Inventory:
+A hunter's outfit... aaand maybe the tacky white suit, hung up in his closet?
+ Sam's old cellphone and a laptop. 
... That's about it. He's gonna have to work for his weapons.

Writing Samples: TDM top level 
Additional TDM thread #1
Additional TDM thread #2

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Ashlee
Player Age: 28
Player Contact: simpledog

Other Characters In Game: Diarmuid, Peter Parker, the T-800, and Sheriff Woody; I've spoken to a mod regarding this fifth and final character slot!
In-Game Tag If Accepted: sam winchester (au): ashlee
Permissions for Character: Here!
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: Yes!
What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: Mindgames, mental anguish, monsters, self-reflective nightmare exploration and things where people have to face things they've done through horrible situations... but also just about anything else, too.
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: Nope!
Additional Information: